Tomorrow's Planned Ride

Pan a bit to the right. The blue lines indicate our route for a weekend-long ride. It's not exact, it's just meant as a guideline for anybody who wants to follow our progress. We will be staying in New Haven with our horses. We hope to be bringing the new gelding home when we return the next day. Actually, it may be just  me and Rocket. I don't know if Rachelle is going to be able to go or not. Either way, with sunny autumn weather and excellent company, this promises to be a beautiful and refreshing ride.

Horses, an Update

Dante: peaceful, confident, and bored. He's not being ridden enough.

Jack: happy, enjoying Memphis's company. But I've noticed in the last couple of days he has become a bit more independent. Still likes to come up and stand near me, waiting for his scratches. I love his tenor voice.

Memphis: followed me around the paddock today while I was trying to catch Rocket. She very nearly stuck her head right into the halter that I was carrying over my arm. That girl needs a job! She did very well pulling the cart the last time we had her in it. We really need to get her a good harness. But anyway, I think I'm going to have to ride her more, or at least bring her along when I'm riding other horses. I have never met a horse who baked as hard as she does to be worked. What a wonderful pony!

Cocoa: it's tricky to get on him. It can also be tricky after you're on him. He can't yet be mounted without somebody holding his head while his rider gets on. Even then, he needs a lot of warning and a lot of instruction so that he feels like he's being asked to do a specific thing (stand still) while something very predictable happens (somebody gets on his back). This is such an improvement over what he was like a year ago that I'm not complaining. As always, his emotions are the most important thing to control. He needs to be calmed and soothed before he is safe to mount. It also helps to free longe him long enough to let him get his oats worked off a bit. I like to ride him because he is so smooth.this picture is of him meeting the cow for the first time.

Ed: yesterday I looked at him and the first word into my head was NOT "ribs." He's gaining weight. Kordell put shoes on him to hold his hopes table while his abscesses work their way down. I want to write him but it was just too miserable out today. It certainly won't do him any harm to go a little longer without being ridden, but I would like to understand him better and having him under saddle is really the next step for that. He is so sweet.

Meg: she has not limped since right after the last time I rode her. Van is hoping that we can work with her to smooth out her gaits so that she can be a good endurance horse. He does not like the idea of selling her and finding another horse for endurance. He also doesn't like the idea of having two horses. We don't need t

o make that decision right away. Meg's attitude is very good 

for endurance riding. She just loves to be out on the trail. But I'm not sure that she can physically handle it without hurting herself. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure that Van can handle it without hurting himself unless he spend

s more time in Vermont and is able to work out and ride every day. But anyway, I really get a kick out of make. Her attitude is a riot. The last time I met somebody like her I was sitting in my seventh grade class.

The cow: I really hate to notice that he's cute. He's supposed to be next year 's meat. I would never admit this to my children, but it does bother me to be friendly to animal that will end up going into the freezer. But he is so cute it's hard to resist.

In other news, Mikey wants a little gray kitten. A specific little gray kitten that belongs to his friend Colin. He is quite reasonable about asking for this kitten -- only mentions it a

bout once every 10 seconds or so.

Danny has been tired. His nose has been clogged up and I don't think he's sleeping through the night although he doesn't remember waking up. I see him start to wake up to breathe through his mouth and this is happening a lot each night. Being tired changes Danny's personality from open and loving to fragile and prone to meltdowns.

Cordell brought home a new Australian saddle yesterday. We tried it on Rocket this afternoon but it is too big for him. I think it will probably fit Cocoa. Cordell wants Cocoa to be his horse. Well, it may work out sometime to be that way. They would make a nice pair. It would be especially good for Cocoa because I think Cordell would work with him and tolerate his need to learn things slowly.

And Van, whom I miss constantly. The world in Atlanta reaches out and pulls him in like he's

 drowning in some kind of soft pillow. Everything up here in Vermont starts to seem distant to him, although he hates the idea of missing anything. When he comes back, it will all fit perfectly again, but right now he feels very far away to me and I wish, wish he was here.

A Little Talk about Pain

Now that I've had this pain for month after month I have begun to wonder what would happen if I didn't have it anymore. It's become almost a friend, a constant companion: at my side last at night before I drift off to sleep, and hovering, waiting for consciousness, to greet me first thing in the morning, almost like a lover. Everything else is anchored by it, revolves around it. If it wasn't there, I might lose my way. It shields me from things. The ache, the sharp stab, seize control of my attention and hold it suspended from any real engagement with the demands of life. It is jealous of other would-be lovers and holds me hostage in its grip, warning them off with threats of hurting me if they approach too closely or too fast. We are intimate, this pain and I, but I feel other intimacies slipping away.

Because of it, I have begun to hold my eyebrows closer together and down a little, almost like I'm working out a difficult puzzle. But really, I'm holding myself braced, and concentrating, always concentrating on how to do the next right thing without arousing my companion's ire.

The sharp stab in my shoulder is a fixed point, like the pin that holds the butterfly to the cardboard. I don't struggle against it because that just gives it strength. And I feel my life shrinking. Where I used to walk with pride I now walk with fear -- and this I resent, but only meekly. Never before have I had an attitude almost of supplication as a constant background to everything I do. I want to placate someone or something, but although it feels like a living personality, this capricious pain is merely a construct to help me understand and not something I can negotiate with.

I went to the doctor this morning. He is concerned that I don't have a greater range of motion and he is worried that my arm and shoulder might become permanently stiff. When I asked him if that meant permanently painful, he said, "Maybe."

Cordell's Great Aunt Gladys and Other Things

Here she is:



Not much of a training day today. I'm tired and yesterday my arm got pretty sure. Today I took it easy and now my arm doesn't hurt.

Rode Meg yesterday. Found out why Van is having so much trouble sitting on her when she trots and canters -- she is a bit rough. Cordell said he might be able to help a little bit with the shoes. also I think she might be able to learn how to be smoother.otherwise she is a very good horse. Works hard to be a good girl. Is very strong. Also patient with her rider. Was limping by the end of the ride, and I think this is partly due to her choppy canter. I think it's hard on her shoulders. Hopefully we can work on this with her.

All I have energy for tonight... much more going on but too tired right.

Our Dearest Pri!

This is a picture Priscila and me.I'll add some of the pictures that she took -- she has such an eye for the children.

She has a lot of wonderful pictures here.

Training Update

I wanted to write down the training progress. So here's the list:

-- Rocket did the 5 mile loop this morning at a good clip. He arrived home sweaty and a little bit out of breath but in general feeling pretty good.
-- Meg also did the 5 mile loop this afternoon not quite so fast as Rocket. She gave Rachelle a hard time on the way up the driveway but after that, Rachel said, she was sensible for the rest of the ride.
-- cocoa did some ring work. He learned how to back up and how to do a side pass! He is careful with his feet and it makes it easy to teach him new motions. He started to learn how to respond to leg pressure and was doing quite well with it in the ring -- not quite so well when we took a brief trail ride. On the ride outside the ring he found it difficult to focus on his rider and instead was looking at everything else in the world.
-- Memphis pulled the cart around the ring and then out and part way up the driveway. After that we had some safety issues because the harness doesn't really fit her and a piece is not attached the way I think it should be to the cart. Looks like maybe some hooks are missing from the cart. Memphis loved being the center of attention and stood quietly to be harnessed, then did her best while she was pulling the cart.

In other news, Rachel found Mimoka up in the tree near the ring meowing pitifully. I called Danny. Getting cats down from trees is something that Danny has proven quite good at and this was no exception. But it posed some interesting problems because the lowest branches were way above even my head.

First Danny tried to walk up a board propped against the tree (we don't have any ladders tall enough) but the board was too wobbly so he wisely got back down. And then he climbed back up the tree next to the tree that Mimoka was in. Mimoka seem to enjoy the company up there in the Heights with her. But neither could Danny reach her nor she reach him, so after a while Danny got back down. At that point I had to go into the house and start dinner. A few minutes after I got in there, however, Danny came running in and up the stairs. I didn't have to ask him what he was after. It was obviously the orange monkey.

Armed with Mimoka's favorite toy Danny went back outside and begin dangling around at the bottom of Mimoka's. tree. Again I had to go back to focusing on dinner. A few minutes later I heard the front door open and Danny come in. I was afraid to look, because I was worried that Danny would be sad about Mimoka being stuck up in that tree as it got darker and darker outside. So from my position at the sink I asked, "Did you get her down?"

"Yes!" he said with well-deserved pride. And there was Mimoka perched in Danny's arms purring like a motor boat.

And just in case you're curious about the monkey, perhaps this video will help.

I can't figure out how to make the whole picture fit in the space that the blog takes up. If you want to see the pictures without having the right side cut off, click on one of them and you will be taken to the photo bucket website. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Dedicated to Clementine and Priscila

Van was here with his wonderful camera so we have lots of pictures from this past weekend. I wanted to share them with people I love. I wish you were all here more often.

And Some More Pictures

Danny and me.
Van and Me
Clementine and Nina At the Beginning of a Training Session with Cocoa

Some Pictures You Haven't Seen

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Magical Moments

I love to watch new horses meet my sons. Mikey is nine years old, and Danny is 11 years old. it's hard to describe just why the moment when one of our new horses spots one of the boys and approaches him stands out as so magical in my mind. But it's something about the -- I won't say purity, and I won't say nakedness, though both words came to mind -- maybe what I mean is familiarity. The spirit and energy of a child is much more like the spirit and energy of a horse than that of an adult is. When a horse and a child interact, they follow no script. The horses ears come forward the child shrinks a little with nervousness, then reaches out just as the horse stretches forward his nose, ear forward, eyes wide. A sniff, a touch, and then, after a brief period of mutual curiosity, it always seems that both lose interest at almost exactly the same time. They recognize each other on some level and understanding is swift and unselfconscious.

Give that girl a job!

Yesterday after a long, fast trail ride on Rocket, I was leading him around the ring to cool him down. Memphis and Fleetfoot Jack were also in the ring waiting for their turns. Memphis was quite interested in the fact that Rocket was being led around the ring. In fact, she started to insinuate herself into the process. Within about five minutes, as a matter of fact, she had completely ousted him from his place on my right side. She was walking at the same pace as I was, and stopping when I stopped, and otherwise paying very careful attention to what I was doing.

"Me," she seemed to be saying. "Me."

I love this!

It's Nina! My favorite part is the ending.

For those of you who don't know, Nina spent some time at the farm with her family this past summer and did a lot of work. She played a big part in many of our horses' lives.

Plans for the Day

I talked to a nice woman last night who's interested in cocoa. She's coming this morning to see him. She sounds like a rider with a lot of experience -- some of it saddle seat, so she is used to Morgans. I plan to work him as usual, in the ring first, and then, if her riding experience seems to support a larger adventure, out of the ring on a very short "trail ride."

Quick Check-In

I have little time to write and much to talk about. The big news is that Cocoa has been ridden several times now by Cordell.

This came about because I went down to Woodstock with some friends to attend a Green Mountain horse Association members-only trail ride (The picture above is from the trail ride. It's of Rachelle and her mom). The night before the ride we had dinner with some very nice people who seemed to have a lot of experience training Morgans. Cocoa is half Morgan and half Saddlebred, so I thought they might have something of value to offer. Well, they did. Not only the woman across from me, but the man next to her and the woman next to him all agreed that Cocoa needed was... treats.

Armed with this excellent advice, Rachelle and I brought Cocoa into the ring on Monday. We free-longed him as usual with a saddle on, and when he was calm and cooperative Rachelle started getting up and down off of his right side. He is extremely skittish about his left side. Cordell watched, but I know he's got half an eye on Cocoa for himself, so I invited him to participate. He came into the ring and immediately approached cocoa on his left side. But he is Cocoa's farrier -- Cocoa is used to having him ask for things that seem scary and that turned out all right. He accepted the approach. I kept feeding him treats. After a few minutes I realized that, without anybody really noticing, Cordell had hung off of Cocoa 's left side like a berry on a branch. Coco was bearing his full weight. Then Cordell stood on the ground again and put his foot in the stirrup. Then he lifted himself up a bit, then stood up in the stirrup. I raised an eyebrow at him. "You know, he's not wearing a bridle. If he decides to buck and puts his head down, Rachelle and I will not be able to stop him." Cordell said nothing, but within two minutes there he was, sitting calmly on Cocoa 's back while Cocoa calmly ate more treats. It was done.

I watched Cocoa and Cordell walk around the ring together for a little bit after that. Tears came to my eyes. When Cocoa first came to us he tried to kill people by striking out with his front feet, stallion style. He was crazy from being confined in a dark barn for his entire life, then suddenly finding himself out in place of strange sights, sounds, smells, where his body was moving in new ways (in straight lines rather than round and round endlessly in a small stall). It was too much for him, but he desperately needed to be free. For the first year I have worked on teaching him that freedom comes with cooperation. He finally figured it out. His manner with Cordell was gentle and curious and loving. And so very graceful.

So yesterday, we continued where we had ended on Monday. This time, Cordell tried to get on the left side and had no success. He did better on the right side -- got right up and over and onto Cocoa. I helped Cocoa figure out how to take one step, and then two steps, and then outright walk around the ring. At each step, Cocoa needed to find his balance all over again from the last step.

A whole new world has opened up for this horse.

In other news, Meg has a cut on her butt. It is very deep. We might not be able to write her for a little while, but she doesn't seem to be in any pain. We've cleaned and bandaged it and taped it shut. We have begun going over the paddock carefully to find out how she got it. She and cocoa were fighting so it may just have been a nasty bite from him. He always leaves marks on the other horses. We have him with Ed now, and he is not as aggressive with Ed because Ed never questions his authority.

Real Cool Ice Te, a.k.a. Timone, a.k.a. Mo, a.k.a...

Ed.

Yes, the poor guy gets yet another name. But every time I think about him, or talk about him, or talk to him, the name Ed pops out of my mouth. Sometimes I think of him as Ed.

I'm a bit concerned about his respiration. I don't usually become aware of when and how a horse's briefing, but around him I am noticing when he draws a breath. It looks like he's kind of holding his breath. So at some point in the not-too-distant future, especially if he doesn't gain weight, he will need a visit from the veterinarian.

Rachelle, her mom, Magic, and I all went down to Woodstock on Saturday to go on an all-day ride Sunday. I took Rocket, Magic took Meg, Rachel took Poet, and her mom, Kris, took Joey. The foliage was beautiful. It was great to ride with a larger group, and on trails that we had never seen before.

Introducing Mo

Afraid to Feed the Horses

all the horses are in the meadow right now. That's a herd of 6 -- and are they ever happy to be there together.

The problem is feeding time. Trying to feed a herd is tricky at best, but in my condition it is dangerous.Cordell feeds them in the morning and he has a system worked out that seems to work pretty well for him. But I've tried now for two nights in a row to feed them, even with help, and it is too scary.They mill around and fight with each other. Although none of them would deliberately hurt me, I can easily picture a situation where one of them suddenly moves sideways or backwards and bumps me. Even a bump like that hurts and could do harm. And another phenomenon with feeding the herd is that as they fight with each other and sometimes a stray hoof or set of teeth aimed at somebody else lands on the handler (me). I'm not ready yet to take on this challenge. If I had two good arms I could get a horse with a lead rope and put him in a separate area and go back and get another horse and put him in the same area so that I could feed the two slowest eaters in that smaller area. But I'm not able to lead a horse and open and shut a gate all at the same time. That's a two-handed operation. No matter how I look at it, it's just not a good idea for me to be taking care feedings like this.

I can think of only one solution -- and that is to keep the horses that need grain here at the farm. I'm sorry to do that to them because it is good for them and they are happy out there in the big meadow. But I guess safety first. How about that -- you won't hear me saying that very often. I am humbled by how difficult this recovery is turning out to be. I never want to go through this again.

New Horse Coming on Friday

Today all the horses are over at Mel's Meadow. Cocoa is home again from Magic and Alan's place. So Mel is getting to look out her window and see six horses. It will soon be 7 -- yesterday morning Elizabeth, Cordell, and I went to see a horse named Mo (registered name Real Cool Ice Te) who was advertised as being free. According to the ad, he was not sound. He's also severely underweight. But when we got there, the owner said that he had an abscess on his foot. So as it turns out, what she's giving away is a well bred quarter horse who's underweight but perfectly sound once his abscess heels. And he's well trained. He's just the kind of horse that I like to put into my program. He doesn't need training so much as he needs recuperation and then he'll be ready to become somebody's special horse. I'll post pictures once he gets here. Once he arrives, he will go through a series of treatments for his foot -- mostly Epsom salts soaks twice a day and careful attention to the ground he's standing on, because his feet cannot get wet. He'll probably need to go back and forth from the stall to the ring. After two weeks of careful treatment he will be turned out with the herd and fed like Dante is (that is, a lot) so that he can gain weight. His previous owner neglected to feed him and he's about 400 pounds underweight. He has some dietary restrictions because he has a congenital problem that affects many quarter horses which causes him not to be able to cannot process potassium. So he can eat only oats and hay and grass, but no treats. I think I'll have to put a sign up at the Meadow so that people don't feed the horses. Cordell says that he sees evidence of people giving them treats. A lot of people walk by that Meadow and enjoy spoiling the horses, but unfortunately, spoiling Mo would be harming him. Oh -- and very importantly, he needs a new name. We can't change his show name but we can change his barn name. He is a chestnut with a gentle, kind disposition. He usually ends up at the bottom of the hierarchy in a herd. But get to know him a little bit better and then start brainstorming names for him.